Do you know the ONE thing I have discovered ALL of my successful clients with healthy relationships have? (If you don’t have this, you AREN’T changing your man pattern)
DESIRE
That’s it — now you COULD roll your eyes at how simple the answer is, dismiss it (or say “Yeah yeah, I already know THAT” and STOP reading this article NOW….. and if you DO….. I guarantee you will ALSO stay STUCK.
Stuck in whatever old pattern you have been living and reliving over and over again….
Stuck attracting the wrong men. Stuck in a bad relationship you’re working up the guts to leave or hoping may still improve. Stuck ‘waiting’ for the lightbulb to come on with one guy who just isn’t committing. Stuck using all the apps to meet people, but never meeting the ONE. Stuck with relationships that start well, with a guy who seems awesome but then he turns out to be emotionally unavailable and the relationship ends… badly…. again.
S-T-U-C-K in a R-U-T.
Don’t wan’t to stay stuck? Great! But that’s what we get when we don’t DIG DEEPER into understanding DESIRE… so, choose.
Would you like to know more about desire? Would you like to know what I mean by desire, and how it will radically alter all of your man patterns FOREVER?
If so, read on. If not, go stay stuck.
Still with me?
Okay! Here’s what I mean!
This week, I was approached by two different women who were having challenges with their relationships. One kept attracting men who seemed great, but then turned out to be emotionally unavailable, abusive or impotent. She did not want to keep attracting the same kind of guys. The OTHER woman was going through a divorce and did not want to repeat the pattern and attract the same kind of guy.
They both wanted the same support — identifying WHY they attracted those types of men (over and over) and how to change the pattern.
One of them is now my client, and one of them is not. Meaning, one of them is already well on her way to breaking the pattern, and one is still stuck on repeat.
Now, you may say, ‘Maybe one of them was in a different financial situation than the other one’, and you’d be right! Granted, my help is not cheap because it is life-changing, but the woman who was far wealthier did NOT do the coaching. The woman of far lesser means DID do the coaching. So it wasn’t about the money.
It never is.
Did you hear that, because it’s VERY important! In my decade of doing this I have discovered the single biggest predictor of success in relationships is about just ONE thing….
How badly you want to change.
That’s it.
Your DESIRE is what will pull you to success in this area.
Isn’t that what pulled you to success in every other area you’ve been successful in? You WANTED it badly enough to do WHATEVER it took?
Like my happily married client who left home at 15 because it was toxic and unsafe, so she did whatever it took to create her own life. In fact, it wasn’t just a ‘want’ it was a MUST.
She did the same thing when she got into schools no one thought she could get into, and paid tuitions she had no idea how she’d pay. But she was DETERMINED and burning with desire to reach her goals NO MATTER WHAT.
How strong is YOUR desire to have the healthy relationship you SAY you want? Are you ready to do whatever it takes, and MEAN it? Well, here’s how you can check and see….
Things All of My Successful Clients, Who Have DESIRE Say:
Why do you want this to change? “It HAS to. It’s time.”
What will happen if things keep going the same way? “That is not an option.”
What are you willing to do to change this? “WHATEVER it takes.” (Some people say this and don’t mean it… those are the ones who say they want to get in shape but don’t follow through — others walk their talk and MEAN it when they say WHATEVER it takes).
So what are you going to do about it? “I don’t know. I need help with this.”
Things The Women Who Stay STUCK, Because They Don’t Have 100% Desire, Say:
Why do you want this to change? “I am tired of…” “I am sick of…” “I don’t know…” “
What will happen if things keep going the same way? “I’ll be okay I guess…” “Hang out with friends…” “Be fine…” “Will figure it out…” “I’ll keep ____-ing…” “I’ll just…” “I don’t know…” “Not sure”
What are you willing to do to change this? “I’m going to try to…” “I am reading this book…” “My friend…” “I think…” “If he…” “If I….” “I’m hoping….” “Um,…” “Stop being ____ (whatever they have been their whole life, just magically snap their fingers and be different even though they couldn’t do it up until now)” “Start valuing myself” “Stop dating jerks” “Be less _____! or “Be more ____” and my favorite, “Whatever it takes!!!” (then four minutes later they “can’t” commit to the time, money or effort to do it “right now”).
So what are you going to do about it? Same answers as the last one…. books, more info gathering, a friend’s advice, hoping the guy changes, basically a lot more of the same shit they’ve been doing for decades with bad results. Not a great plan!
So, which list did you relate to more? Which words have you heard come out of your mouth, or noticed yourself saying “That’s me” even though you hate to admit it?
If it’s the last list, then I have to tell you the truth, for your sake: you have low desire to change right now and are going to stay stuck!
If it’s the FIRST list, then you have a HIGH level of DESIRE to change RIGHT NOW. If that’s you, I have one question for you…
Now what are you gonna do about it?
Much Love,
Barry
p.s. – if you “have to” make a change, no matter what it takes, and would like my guidance and support reach out to me by visiting datemennotboys.com/apply and let me know how I can help
Tags: attracting the same, bad relationship, barry price, commitment, desire, divorced, emotionally-unavailable, healthy boundaries, healthy relationship, man, man pattern, pattern, real man, relationship expert, relationship goals, relationships, right guy, right man, seemed, self-expression, self-love, strong one, strong woman, stuck, support, supportive, the one, wrong guy, wrong man
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