Age & Relationships (Does it Really Matter?)

Does age matter? It is not the age, it is the stage. When I say stage, what I mean is: what stage of life are you at? What stage of life are they at? There are a lot of different ways to think of that. Like my client who is in her mid 40s and her clock was ticking because she really wanted to have kids, she’d never had kids and she knew she only had a limited amount of time left. She had chosen to settle down with a partner in his late 20s, who was just trying to get a foothold in his career. They were at very different stages in terms of their priorities and the urgency that they felt around family versus career.

Or my other client who is in her early 60s was in a relationship with a man in his mid 30s. They had a significant chronological difference but what they did enjoy was that she felt desired by him. It had been a long time since she’d had sexual chemistry and passion, and what she was really dating was not his age, but someone who had a sexual appetite for her. She felt desirable. The other parts of their lives were not adding up, thus there was no commitment to her. The stage that he was at, in terms of his priorities for relationships, suited some of her needs, but not all of her needs.

Another client of mine, in her late 50s, was struggling with her fear of feeling as though she was getting old. So she had made a decision that she would not date anyone older than 65. So when she met a man who was in his early 70s, it went against what her own fear had been telling her. Yet, he was the perfect partner for her. They fell deeply in love, and he took better care of his health than most men her age. They did decide to be together, and she has been in a relationship with him, enjoying travelling the world and building an amazing life. Both of them are vibrant and have youthful, vital energy.

So, is it really anything to do with age? Or, is it much more to do with the stage that we are at? What priorities do you have in your life right now? What is important to you? What are your highest values? We are able to identify our highest values not because you say them, but because your actions reflect them. They are the things that you do first, that you prioritize above all else.

Ask yourself, what are your highest priorities in life right now? And what are the highest priorities that you value most in a potential partner or your current partner? The stage that you are at yourself, and that your partner is at, have so much more to do with compatibility than just the number. But, the number of your age is often an indicator that you may be at a certain stage in your life. Reflect upon these questions to ensure that you will have a healthy, empowered relationship.

Much Love.
Barry